Nightmare
by darfnichtfurzen
Summary: Light had heard L dreaming before, on the rare occasions when he was actually sleeping, but never had he heard L have a nightmare. Of course, when he finds out what the nightmares are about, he feels bad for the detective. Light didn't know anything at all about L's childhood, but he hadn't expected this. Not ever. One Shot.


_Summary: Light had heard L dreaming before, on the rare occasions when he was actually sleeping, but never had he heard L have a nightmare. Of course, when he finds out what the nightmares are about, he feels bad for the detective. Light didn't know anything at all about L's childhood, but he hadn't expected this. Not ever._

_Rated: M_

_Genre: Hurt/comfort_

_Warnings: triggering, mentions of past rape and abuse, trauma, nightmares._

* * *

_This is my first fanfiction ever published onto this website. I hope it's good! Constructive criticism is welcome. I would love to have reviews and all of that jazz._

* * *

Light was rather annoyed at his situation. Ryuzaki still thought it was a good idea to have the two of them chained together, which made for quite an awkward time at night. The two had decided that they would be _far _comfortable if they both shared a bed- a large one at that so there could be as little touching as possible.

But tonight was a difficult one. Ryuzaki had finally been dragged to bed at the ungodly hour of two in the morning by an irritated Light. '_Not everyone is an insomniac, Ryuzaki. I need my sleep, damn it!'_

Light laid on his side, unable to sleep (much to his annoyance), and watched a slumbering Ryuzaki. Despite his great irritation at the fact that he could not fall asleep, no matter what he tried, he found it a bit amusing at how the detective slept.

He looked very peaceful, his thumb in his mouth slightly, and curled up in a ball on his side. Ryuzaki's messy black hair fell in front of his eyes and he was barely using any of the covers, so Light could see where his baggy white shirt lifted up above his bellybutton.

He didn't know how long he had spent watching- _studying_ (watching sounded creepy) Ryuzaki, but it wasn't boring.

But then it changed. Ryuzaki's eyebrows slowly scrunched together, and he shifted in his sleep a bit. His thumb slipped out of his mouth and instead went to grab his pillow, tightly. He began kicking at the sheets that covered his feet, until there were no blankets on him at all.

Ryuzaki seemed to be having a nightmare, Light deduced. He watched with increasing interest at how Ryuzaki twisted and turned in his slumber, and his eyes widened with shock when Ryuzaki _whimpered. _

It was the strangest noise he'd ever hear come from the young detective, and Light didn't know what to do about it. Ryuzaki then curled in a tight ball, wrapping his arms around his legs, and whimpered again, before saying a quiet '_stop' _followed by a '_please, please stop!'_. The fear in his voice was evident.

Light wondered what he was dreaming about, because it seemed to be bad. What would make the emotionless detective so scared? The world running out of sweets?

Light started to get worried when his breath quickened and seemed to have trouble breathing. L was gasping for air and Light knew that he had to wake him now. He prodded the young man, before saying "Ryuzaki, wake up."

This seemed to worsen the situation because he whimpered loudly again. "Ryuzaki, I said wake up!" Light shook L , and then the detective's eyes snapped open and he screamed.

L was screaming and thrashing around, his eyes darting back and forth. He didn't realize that he was not in his nightmare any more, but in the real world. Of course- with L thrashing around, Light was dragged along with it due to the incredibly stupid handcuff that was around his wrist.

"Ryuzaki- Stop!" Light yelled, trying to pin the terrified man down. "Calm down!"

Light noticed that L had tears in his eyes and he shut them quickly. "G-get off me," Ryuzaki's voice was barely heard by Light, but he got off of him.

"Ryuzaki… What happened…?" Although the answer was obvious, Light thought that this was a good thing to say that would perhaps calm down the detective more.

Ryuzaki's eyes narrowed. "What did you hear?" his voice was cold and emotionless once again.

"Um- you were whimpering and saying for something to stop?" Light was slightly taken aback by Ryuzaki's tone.

The raven haired detective closed his eyes and didn't say anything for a moment. "I suppose you are wondering what I was dreaming about, Light-kun. It would be the obvious thing to think, and I can practically feel your curiosity. However, what I was dreaming of is only for me to know about so it would be best if you stopped wondering."

"Ryuzaki I-"

"Just shut up and go to sleep, Light," L interrupted, turning on his side. "And forget this happened."

* * *

The next morning Light awoke to the bed being empty, but a tracking device on his ankle. There was a note on Ryuzaki's pillow saying '_this is temporary'_ in rather messy handwriting.

Light sighed and got up, running a hand through his hair. Before he was to do anything, Light needed a coffee. Scratching the back of his neck, Light wandered towards the kitchen, but stopped walking when he heard hushed voices speaking in English.

It was L and Watari, and whatever they were talking about seemed to be important, because Light could hear the worry in both of their voices.

"-same dream," Light heard L say. "I thought they stopped."

"Perhaps something triggered it?" Light had a slightly hard time understanding the two due to how fast they were talking.

"Nothing that I know of could've done it. Maybe it was a one time thing…" L's voice trailed off. "Wait- there was that documentary about those rapists on the television the other day."

"That must've been it. Ryuzaki, remember that while you may think you've gotten over it, you still have triggers. You must avoid it at all costs, remember that case a few years ago? That was _catastrophic. _I will be keeping a closer eye on you, I don't want you to be triggered again," Watari's calm voice explained. "Now, do you think you can tell me what happened?"

There was a silence for a few moments, before Ryuzaki's hesitant voice was heard again. "It was like the ones I had back home, when I was younger. Like the first ones I had- I remembered it _all. _I woke up screaming, of course, but it was worse because Light was there. There is a seventy percent chance that he had deduced what my dream was about, and I really hope he hadn't."

Well, now with this information, Light was now deducing what had happened. When he was younger? Triggers? Rapists? It all made sense now, how when the other day Light was watching a documentary on the television while eating about some creepy serial rapist, and he should've noticed how edgy Ryuzaki was acting.

Light deduced that Ryuzaki was a victim of rape as a young child, and by what he heard last night, it was obviously a horrifying memory for him. Light felt a bit bad for Ryuzaki, that had to have been horrible.

Light had decided that he had heard enough, and slowly crept back into his room. He could get that coffee later.

* * *

_A young boy with messy black hair and ill fitting clothes sat on his bed, the room around him empty. The rain could be heard hitting the roof, and the sound of it was rather calming. Today his uncle was drinking more than usual, and L knew that in order to not get in trouble, he ought to stay out of his way. It was the anniversary of his aunt's death after all, it had been a year since the accident._

_L was sitting in his usual position, what his uncle called 'stupid' before yelling at him to sit properly. His little pale thumb was in his mouth, as he sat thinking about everything and anything. His head turned towards the door as he heard the thumping of his uncle's slow footsteps, and soon he could smell the alcohol. L jumped out of his usual sitting position and sat 'properly'. It was rather uncomfortable._

_His uncle threw open the door, and glared darkly at L. "'s yer fault," his uncle spat. "Yer faul' she's dead- yer fault we're poor, yer fault tha' th' house is fallin' apart! Yer worthless- I dunno why I keep ya!"_

_L tried to keep his emotions under control, this happened quite often. The little boy hung his head as his uncle yelled abuse at him. He cried out when the man's large hand made contact with his face, sending him flying. _

"_Yer pathe'ic, geddup!" L tried to get up on his own, but his uncle grabbed him by his shirt and threw him onto the bed. "She's dead an' its yer fault!" His uncle pulled off his belt, hit L a few times with it, before throwing it to the ground._

_He grabbed the little boy tightly, and the rest was a blur. Then, the most horrible pain went through L's body. It burned, and L screamed. "Stop, please!" he shouted. "Please stop!"_

_His uncle didn't. L didn't really know what he was doing, but he knew that it hurt. "Stop- please! It hurts!"_

_His uncle hit him again, yelling for him to shut up. Tears were rolling down the little boys face, and he screamed again. Why was he doing this? It hadn't been his fault his aunt had died, it was an accident! L didn't completely understand why his uncle hated him, but he had several theories. But right now, none of that mattered. He just wanted it to __**stop.**_

* * *

Ryuzaki was having another nightmare. This time, Light was prepared. He shook Ryuzaki awake and pinned him down as the man was thrashing and screaming again. He calmed down quickly enough, though. Ryuzaki whimpered quietly again, and Light let go of him.

So when Ryuzaki glared at him and told him to forget what had happened, Light spoke up. "Ryuzaki, you know that I can't and won't be forgetting what has been happening. You _know _that I am not an idiot. I heard the conversation you had with Watari the other day and I am pretty sure I know what happened."

Ryuzaki's face flashed with anger. "You know _**nothing **_of what has happened to me," he spat. "Shut up and don't mention it."

"You're being an idiot, Ryuzaki. Wouldn't you rather me knowing the full story than assuming everything? I think we'd work better if we didn't keep any secrets from each other." Light said calmly.

Ryuzaki's mask had returned. "Light, there is a probability that you might be Kira, so I shall not be telling you anything that could put me in a compromising situation."

"You are already in a compromising situation- and I am _not _Kira. So out with it, it's not like I'll tell anyone," Light replied, glaring. "I'll just ask Watari or something if you don't tell me."

Ryuzaki glared back and muttered something under his breath. "…When I was a small child… my parents disappeared, they were assumed dead," he mumbled quietly. " I didn't know or care who they were, they were gone all the time. I was placed into the care of my drunk uncle, whose wife died only two months after I had began living with them. He blamed me. Sometimes, when he got very intoxicated, well… he used me for his sexual satisfaction. I was perhaps six years old the first time it happened. It happened several times and in a fit of anger he kicked me out. Watari found me. And now here we are."

L's voice grew a bit louder as he spoke again. "Like any other human, when something bad happens to us, it can leave a mark. Both physically and mentally. I have both. Sometimes I get triggered and I have a few days of nightmares. Nothing serious, and it hardly ever happens. And if you tell anyone or use this for your own advantage, I will ensure that you are jailed for being Kira, even if I do need to use fake proof."

Light blinked. "Oh."

L's eyes narrowed a bit.

Light gulped. "I… that- I'm sorry, Ryuzaki. I'm sorry this happened to you." Light was not lying when he said this, and if he had his memories of being Kira, he'd want to kill L's uncle. "It shouldn't have happened to you."

L shrugged. "It happened a long time ago. There is no need to worry," he mumbled. The detective was sitting in his usual position, and his thumb was in his mouth. Light could see that his mask was breaking, L was trying to act normal but was obviously failing.

Light then did something unexpected, and put an arm around L. He said nothing, but he didn't have to. L looked at Light with a hint of curiosity in his eyes, and a small smile quirked at his lips. He didn't struggle to get Light off of him, because this weird hug actually felt very nice.

So for the first time in a very long time, L didn't worry about anything. He just relaxed.


End file.
